It’s always difficult… People never know what something means for someone… I would love it if anyone could just read my mind. Than I would never have to explain anything anymore…

It’s hard exposing your creativity like that, judgement can be harsh, and even a response filled with compliments that has one piece of criticism can hurt. Try and gradually publicise your writing, if that’s possible. It takes time for people to care about writing or a writer, no-one goes into the field great. Work will always be more important to it’s writer than any reader, because no-one can have the same connection, the same feeling to the work you do, but in a way that’s beautiful. Because it doesn’t matter what they think, because that work means more to you than it ever will to them. Where as they judge Objectively, you judge subjectively. I don’t know if that’s any help, but hopefully it shows that it’s not an odd thing that you feel.

I’ve got that oh so common and age-old tale of woe. I like a girl, geeky, booksmart as all hell, reclusive, but sweeter than a mountain of sugar. I feel strongly for her, but I doubt myself, because I’ve liked so many girls in such a short amount of time I can’t trust my own feelings. But I feel differently for her, and I’m trying to not come across strong too quickly. I’m going to wait until (near) Valentine’s Day before doing anything to make sure I know how I feel about her, but show much doubt goes through my mind it distracts me.

poop! if only google translate didn’t suck so bad

Wessel, I know exactly how you feel. I’m a writer too, but I’m always terrified of showing people the things I’ve written. I’m always scared it’s not good enough or that people won’t like it, even though I know I am a good writer. I don’t really know what to say except for that sometimes, you’ve got to suck it up and just admit to yourself that you are talented, despite your self consciousness. I’ve been trying to do that lately and it’s helped me share things I’ve written more

And to get something off my chest…I like girls. I’m not really sure if I’m bi or a lesbian or what, all I know is that I like girls and I’m just absolutely terrified of telling any of my friends or family in real life. I’m mostly just scared of telling my family, but it’s still hard for me to try and tell my friends… (y’all nerdfighters aren’t homophobic, right? heh..)

Aimee
You don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready. If you get to the point where you think you’re ready, maybe just start with someone you know for a fact won’t judge you, and you’ll get the confidence to open up to others too.

Alex, you should just try to be friends with her, and just get to know her better. The healthiest relationships I know start from friendships. After a while you can ask her out and it will probably work out really well. I really hope it works out!

@LadyCorliss
I agree with Sara. A true friend would help you out in this situation, not cause it, or even worse, give you pain for it.

And try seeing a psychiatrist/ therapist. A lot of people are put off by the suggestion, but they’re just listeners.

Tonight I went on a movie date with my boyfriend. We went and saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. We had a great time. After the movie we stopped for hot chocolate and after he left and I was walking home in the rain I just started to cry and hyperventilate. I think I finally fully realized just how much I have invested in this relationship and how much that scares me… I guess now I’m just worried that this was not the correct or normal reaction one should have to such an epiphany. Being with him makes me happy and I know that, but now it’s just bothering me that I had such a dramatic reaction to the realization of just how much I care about him, and how much of myself I’ve given to him.

Regrets with guys. We all have them. One of my best friends and I got extremely close over this past summer. I had always liked him, but I never said anything. Finally, one night at his house, we kissed. We told nobody.
This happened at least four or five more times, and we never spoke of it to anyone, not even to each other. Then out of the blue, he stopped putting forth effort to hang out. He became distant.
It’s been six months, and I never plucked up the courage to ask him why. Maybe I could have fixed it, or at least helped us go back to being good friends. But it’s too late now.
The worst part is, I haven’t told any of my friends. All they know is that this guy and I don’t hang out as often as we used to. I can’t talk to anyone. I can’t tell anyone. But I had to get it off my chest.
Thanks for listening Nerdfighteria <3

@emily I don’t think that it is too late. I would still try to talk to him about it because sometimes just knowing what happened can help. I have experienced things like this and it is always better knowing what went wrong even if there is no saving the friendship or relationship, but just knowing let’s it stop eating away at me. That’s just me but I think maybe it could help you even if it doesn’t get you two friends again it will at least help you stop wondering about what happened.

also I would like to get some advice. It’s not like a major problem or anything but I have been having a sort of creative block for a while. I make videos like a lot of nerdfighters but recently I haven’t been able to come up with any good ideas for videos and so then I just shoot videos to make them but then I don’t post them because they are really bad. Does any one have any advice for getting through these sort of idealess periods, I don’t want to post shit content but I also don’t want to be absent for long periods of time.

@Tash Hunt I don’t know much about mental issues, but from what you’ve said my advice is to get some help. My best friend went through a period when she was exactly how you describe and she got much better after she went to go see a doctor. You could have something that a lot of people have and might be able to fix. I realise this mustn’t have helped much, but i felt i should say something, nobody should have to have thoughts of self harm.

Ok now to my overtly narcissistic, significantly less important and more petty problem; I don’t like how my parents are putting so much pressure on me to become a lawyer, just because i can doesn’t mean its the right move. I know they want to me to be well off and such, but its just that i’ve always fancied myself as more of a storyteller. And i took this class this semester just to see if i could in fact write, and it turns out i can. Which way do i go? i worked my whole life to get this close to law school, i cant just throw that away. But will i even like law school? I wish there was some way to tell. A life test drive.

@Erica I know that it must’ve felt horrible and that you were/are very scared right now but the only thing you’ll have to do is to look at yourself, than look at your boyfriend and ask yourself: Do I want to spend at least 5 more years with him? If yes, everything is okay.

@Emily Maybe you can combine things? I myself want to be a writer very badly but I know that the chances are quite slime that I will be able to make a living out of it. I will go and study psychology because I really want to help other people but next to my future job (being a teen-psychologist) I will always write.

@Tash Hunt Hold on tight, things will get better.

@Emily I totally get how you feel. If only there was an alternate universe, where we could go and see if we liked something, then we could come back and make a choice. Darn it.

@Doriya I feel the same way… I feel like my problems aren’t important enough to talk about it, because it could always be worse, ya know? But I’m pretty sure that Nerdfighteria is very, very accepting to all sorts of problems and won’t criticize you for talking about your problems in this very room that is specifically for talking about our problems. hehe.

Speaking of which, I have writers block and it freaking sucks.

I’m all alone..and my family is broken

@Tash Hunt I would say that as a psychology student I agree with the person who says you probably have some sort of mood disorder. It could be bipolar although those cycles seem a little rapid to be bipolar, you could have rapid cycle bipolar disorder though which would be my best guess. Pretty much you should see a psychotherapist and get a professional opinion because mood disorders are really serious and bipolar can actually screw up your life if it goes untreated for a while. because mania which is the fast euphoric moods can also come with some schizophrenic symptoms that can be quite scary so I would urge you to see someone about it in order to get treatment before it gets worse.

@Claire Thank you! That was actually…really helpful. I mean, one thing that really helps is knowing that others have gone through the same thing. But yeah, everything you said was really helpful. The only thing is I don’t know of any LGBTQ clubs or communities. I go to a Catholic school, and my friends and a lot of the teachers seem cool with LGBTQ people, but it’s still technically against our religion I guess, so there is no LGBTQ club or community and I have no idea where else I could find one. Unless it’s online, haha.

@Wessel I think that part of the experience of writing is often releasing it into the world and not knowing what will happen to it. And if you trust enough to do release the writings that mean a lot to you, I’m sure that people who read it will be moved too. It may never mean as much, and it may never mean the same thing to someone else. But surely that’s worth the chance? Anyway. Good luck. I hope you’re able to do whatever makes you happy.

@ Alex Don’t doubt yourself too much. If you like her, then you like her. You don’t need to put yourself through the gauntlet (there’s a chance that she’ll want to anyway. No need to do it twice ). And if you stop liking her soon, that’s okay too. But it’s much more likely to happen if you don’t interact with her. And it will be much harder to interact in a genuine way if you’re trying to keep your interest in her secret. It’s okay to wait. It’s fine to not push too hard or too quickly, but be careful not to let chances slip through your fingers just because you’re not sure. Because no one is ever really sure to start with.

@Aimee I don’t know if you’ve gotten a proper LGBT welcome yet, but here it is! WELCOME TO THE CLUB! Anyway, Congratulations on being able to figure out and accept that you like girls. That’s wonderful that you’re already that far. As far as labels go, you may pick and choose any label you’d like, a few labels that fit, or none at all if you want to. This is your sexuality and only you can define it. I like the convenience of labels, personally. I’m pansexual. I think that you need to take the time to figure out what you like and what you want before you tell EVERYONE in your life. Obviously there are times when you want to confide in your close friends, but it’s okay if you want to keep it secret for now. It doesn’t mean you’re ashamed and it doesn’t mean that you’ve done anything wrong. It just means you’re not ready to share that part of yourself yet. I hope your transition into the LGBT community is a good one.

@LadyCorliss I am proud of you for being honest and telling them when you decided that you weren’t okay with the way things were. That can be hard. Especially after you were initially okay with it. But you owe it to yourself to be honest about that. Just like you owe it to yourself not to become involved in relationships that you already know won’t be what you’re looking for. Your friend and Ex have already made it clear that things haven’t changed and that sucks. But my advice is not to get involved with them again. I think you already know that. Sadly, I think you’re just going to have to move on and find a new guy. One more willing to meet your expectations in a relationship. Good luck.
As for being depressed, I’m sorry. Try to remember that even if it feels like you will never be happy again or never feel better, that’s not true. Your depression can lie to you, but you will learn to tell it to back the fuck off. (Can I say that? probably not.) If you ever need any support, I’m here and willing to listen. I’ve had depression, or battled depression or whatever since I was twelve. So 7, going on 8 years now. You might say I have the T-shirt. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

@Erica I know part of your worry was that your reaction wasn’t normal, but your post actually made me feel better and less alone. So maybe not normal, but you’re not alone, either. If I sound unsure in this one, forgive me. I’m advising us both. I think it’s okay to be freaked out by having your emotions so invested in one person and one relationship. Even though society tells us that love is all (as my english teacher put it) “rainbows and bunny slop,” it isn’t. Being in a relationship is hard and it’s risky emotionally. The fact that you’re afraid doesn’t mean anything bad. It just means that you’re aware of the risks you’re taking on this person. And that just means you’re all the more courageous for being able to keep moving forward. You’re okay! It will be okay.

@ Ben I’m sorry that the girl you like isn’t interested. I think you’ve heard plenty of times that there are plenty of other fish, girls, gorillas or whatever metaphor you’d like to date left in the world and that one better for you still is out there. I’m not going to waste your time. If you still like this girl, be her friend and be genuine about it. You don’t need to lie or pretend you don’t like her anymore. But if you make her feel like you’re being friendly to get into her pants it will backfire. If you really care about her, try not to focus on getting her to like you, but do make the effort to become a closer friend with her. Who knows? maybe she’ll come to like you back after all. Good luck.

@ Emily(the face) It’s not too late. If this guy is really a friend and you really care about him, make the effort now to tell him so. Being honest works out more often than you expect, although not always in the expected way. But maybe if you are honest with him, he’ll be honest with you too. I’m also sure that your friends would listen and care if you told them about what had happened. It’s okay not to want to tell them, but if you’re feeling like you have no one to talk to about things, that’s not good. You’re never really alone in the world. If nothing else, there’s always someone here to listen.

@Gnora this may be shitty advice because I don’t make videos, but here it is regardless. I think that you should post the shit content. The only way to get better is to keep trying. I think you should be honest with your viewers that you’re struggling for ideas and post the best things you’ve come up with. Maybe they will see more potential in there than you did. Or maybe they will give you some ideas that you didn’t expect. I had a ridiculous suggestion to put here, but it was too silly. Anyway, good luck.

@Tash I’m sure someone else has told you by now to seek professional help. But I think that’s the right thing to do. You can’t just wait for things to get better. This is clearly too much of a problem to just wait out. I hope you feel better soon.

@Emily(the not-face) Your problem is not petty. Putting down your own problems doesn’t help. Anyway, your parents mean well. You’re right about that, but if you don’t think that law school is the right choice, don’t do it. If you’re not sure, flip a coin to decide, see how disappointed you are by what it tells you to do, then do what you actually want. If you’re not disappointed just nervous about what it tells you, there’s a good chance it’s the right thing to do. Don’t be too afraid to do what you want with your life. You only get one life, so have a little fun with it. Good luck.

@Doriya Hi. I’ve missed you. Okay, less creepily this time, I give you eternal permission to share your problems or concerns here. Because I care and I want to help. I feel the exact same way about being a bother, though. So if you need reassurance that you’re not a bother, ask and ye shall receive.
As for cutting, I’m sorry you’re not doing well. You are not a failure. You are a person. And people sometimes do things that aren’t good for them. And that’s okay. I’m not going to judge you or tell you that you’re making the wrong choices. I just want you to know that personally, my life is much better without cutting in the picture. If cutting is not making your life better in any significant way, I think you should consider that and decide if it’s something you want to keep doing. If it isn’t, you need to be sure of it. When I was trying to quit, that was my problem. I couldn’t stay committed to the idea that I wanted to quit. Some days I thought that it was a problem to be cutting, but other days I just thought that it didn’t hurt anyone but me and it was easier to continue than stop, so why stop? But once I was sure that I wanted to stop, I made the effort to do it and it was not easy, but at least it was more encouraging. When your opinion about your efforts is consistent, then you are more sure how to feel about the accomplishments. Like the fact that I’m now three years cut free. No relapses. And if you think that’s what you want too, you can do it. Good luck.

@Danila You’re not alone in the world. There are those of us who will care about what you’re going through. And there are people going through the same thing. I’m sorry that you’re having family problems. You just have to remember that you can’t control what your family will do. They are their own people and they make their own choices. No matter what they do, it is not and never will be your fault. And if you have any choice to make that will affect your family, I suggest honesty. If we all know honestly how it will affect the people around us, it is sometimes harder to make a choice, but at least we’re able to make those choices more fairly. I hope that things work out for you such that you and your family members get the most happiness.

@Elin I hate that. Maybe the person has just been busy, or wanted to be sure to give your message the time it deserved. Or maybe they opened it, had to leave and forgot when they came back. Anyway, you don’t know why that person didn’t respond to your message, but you have no reason to be embarrassed. You deserve an answer, and that person is the one who hasn’t done what would be expected. If it’s important to you, try again. If it’s not more important than the awkwardness it would create, I suggest you stop thinking about it, because there’s a good chance the recipient isn’t thinking about it either for one reason or another. I hope that didn’t come across badly. :/

@Crystal Pick your future. I don’t understand why being in a longer distance relationship would be that different for him, but clearly if he doesn’t want to put in enough of his effort and energy to make it work long distance, you shouldn’t put your future on the line for him. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but if he’s not as devoted to the relationship as you are, you can’t force him to become so. You also can’t make things work out just by your own efforts. You’re still young and there will be other guys closer to where you are after the move. Keep doing what you think is right for you and what will bring you happiness. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.

I’m pretty sure I love him. But I’m afraid to say it. Also I’m getting my wisdom teeth out (all 4) on the 26th and I’m freaking out…

@psychobabble192 Hey Listen, I get how hard that is. I’m the same way. I like the empty feeling, but I also know that it’s not healthy… so I try to eat. If I can’t eat, I drink so, so, so much water. It helps. You need to tell someone about it. I know you said you tried to tell your mom, and she just brushed it off… when I told my mom I was depressed, she basically told me to suck it up, because she wasn’t spending money on medication… and walked away. And you know what? I’m doing ok. I told some of my friends, even though the aren’t that close, and they all said they’d try to help me and let me feel more included and try to get me through it. And they did. Don’t give up. Even just telling us helps. So when the empty feeling passes and it’s just the raw pain of hunger, eat something. Know that Nerdfighteria is here for you and that we all want you to feel better.

@ebot aw again, I don’t exactly feel qualified to give advice on relationships, but I’m sure that you’ll figure something out. *hug*

@Erica, don’t worry about it. My brother got all four of his taken out in August, and he did fine. He ate soup for the first few days, spat some blood here and there, but he said it didn’t hurt, so that’s a good thing. :3

@mynamebackwards , I’m sorry that you’re struggling with depression. You’re not alone and you don’t deserve to be treated the way you have been by your friends. The guy you dated sounds like a jerk and you definitely deserve better. Don’t put up with guys who are less than what you deserve. I think that you should cut ties with him completely just like he wants. It’s painful now, but I think in the long term you’ll be happier for it. Now is a great time to start looking for a new guy entirely. One you’ve never dated before. (In a lot of cases breakups happen for a reason.) I personally think you deserve better friends as well. The one dating your ex clearly doesn’t care as much about you as she should and is more concerned with her dating prospects than for your mental well-being. I think that if counseling is an option for you, you should consider it because you might like it. If you find a good one, it can be nice to have someone to listen to you and help you through tough times.

@Kelly, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. But the beginning of your post was right. No matter how bad things are now, they can get better if you keep trying and working to improve them. I don’t know if you actually wanted any advice or response about your post, but I just wanted to remind you that you’re not alone. A lot of people, especially those of us who prefer to interact over the internet and in your pants, struggle with anxiety. A lot of 15-year-olds in general struggle with anxiety, I think. If you keep trying, you’ll find people you can trust. You’ll find people around whom you can relax. It’s good that you’re seeing a psychologist. I think that particularly in the long term it will be good for you. If you ever want to talk about anything, I’ll be around to listen.

@dlaszlo I’m sorry you’re mad at his parents. I don’t know what they’ve done, but chances are that the only thing you can do is try to forgive them or at least move on from it. One of the suckiest things about parents is that they think themselves automatically superior in so many ways that they often don’t and won’t consider the possibility that they’re wrong. I hope that it works out.

@wessells I’m sorry that she’s annoying you and that you have a crush on her anyway. It does sound like she was being unreasonable about wanting to see your tumbr, but maybe you should have explained why you didn’t want to tell her instead of just (I’m imagining) becoming annoyed and impatient. I hope that she doesn’t become more annoyed after seeing this post. Good luck getting the girl to like you back.

Eloquence ^^

Wrestling with all my demons. All I want to do right now is sleep but insomnia keeps winning this war. Sometimes it’s easier just to give in and let the tears fall. Just keep crying until you pass out from exhaustion. Does that make me weak. Not the fact that I cry, I know that doesn’t make me weak. But the fact that I bottle up so much that I get to the point where I just break and fall apart. (I’ve done this a solid 3 times in the past few days). And now instead of being logical and talking things out with someone in real life, I’m on the internet bombarding random strangers (however awesome they may be) with my own problems. I know that everyone on this particular thread is happy to throw in their two cents and are simply trying to be supportive of one another, but I still feel like a burden and that I shouldn’t be trying to shift this weight off my shoulders. Regardless I’ve gotten this far, so here’s what’s really on my mind (some of which has been mentioned before but I can’t seem to shake some of these)

1. I miss my mom terribly and I can’t decide whether I’m angry at her for what she did or if I feel in some way responsible. (She committed suicide when I was 3 and a half)
2. I’m freaking out about getting my wisdom teeth out in 3 weeks. I know that it’s not going to be as bad as I’m making it out to be. The logical part of me is fully aware of this. Regardless I know that I’m going to be a complete nut case for the next few weeks about it. And when I told my boyfriend this he simply replied with “And you’re my nut case.”
3. Speaking of my boyfriend… I am completely happy in this relationship and I may even love him which I find terrifying. I’m afraid to say it to him because I fear I may somehow come on too strong and push him away (we’ve only been dating a couple months). Which brings me back to my biggest fear about my relationship I suppose, that is that I’ll do something somehow to screw this up. That thought torments me, and is constantly nagging at me from the back of my mind.

Also I’m sorry that in the “new” your pants I’ve been neglecting to throw in my own two cents and support for you guys. Me wrestling with my own problems is part of it but the words aren’t really coming to me right now… For that I apologize. I’m going to try to be more awesome and supportive in the near future.

Anyways, enough of this. I’m going to go and try to fall asleep. I’ve already tried reading, hoping that this would make me tired enough to fall asleep (I finished my book and was still wide awake) and now I’m wasting time on the internet. Maybe I can fall asleep now?

@wessells aww thanks that made my day

and really i would love to like give advice and try to help everyone here, i always try to put people before myself, but its like hard to reply to everyone with different advice because there are so any people like posting here and all the posts are so long…… okay okay , im just lazy and it takes me forever to read stuff and forever to reply, and its kinda like almost 4am so yea reading and replying takes abit of effort.

when i give people advice its kinda like pretty much the same thing just said differently according to what they need help with. generally i just tell the that life goes on and everything happens for a reasion, no matter what happens in your life or what has happened it has shaped who you are and it will continue to shape who you will be, though you have to be the one to decide how it affects you and how much it changes you. follow your heart, mind and especially your gut, because everyone has natural intuition and most of the time its right, it might not be right in a legal sence or a logical sence but it is usually right for you. if that makes sence at all.

also i would have to say that talking to people helps, not matter what it is you talk about it helps to have a good bitch session sometimes, be it with family, friends, us nerdfighters or a psycologist. talk about your feelings, you dont have to talk about a particular problem just how your feeling because it helps. i also think that sometimes just breaking down and crying on somsones sholder helps, though they have to be the right person, it always feels good to get everything out. i know with my friends, if im sad or angry, no matter what is wrong i will end up laughing and feeling so much better.

i write in a diary sometimes, im definately not very good at doing it frequently, mostly because i ramble on about pointless stuff, but if you cant ramble on to somsone then why not ramble on to yourself. writing in a diary helps to get stuff out, drawing, dancing, singing. anything which releases emotion helps alot.

i dont think cutting is a very smart thing to do, though everyone has a different mind set and well it might work for you, but i dont think its the best choice to make. if you feel as though you have to cut, go for a walk, listen to music do something to ake yourself feel better and distance yourself from the problem at hand or the thought that just give you that urge.

when i first went to my psycologist we where just talking and after the visit she said that i had great ways of coping with whats been going on, though she also said that the way i am coping is something like escapism, where i try to escape from whats going on and distance myself from the problem, i read, if i feel like shit i get a good book and i just read, and i pool all my emotion into the book, i feel as though i am the charactor and i feel the emotions they feeel. it is kind of weird because i cry so much when i read a good book because i just try to jump into the charactor and emotionally experience whats going on, though it kinda helps because i feel so happy when something good happens i feel alittle sad when something bad happens but then at the end of the book i feel like ive just lived another life and i feel as though everything can get better because in the book what ever the book might be, that they got through it all. i know i sound like a nut job, but it is so hard to explain it all.

@lily personally i think you should go to a psycologist. they can make sence of the problem and help you with it because they would probably know whats going on.

@ebot okay so ive read through your post (mostly since its like the one above where mine will be when i post and i dont want to look like a douche for not replying because i feel as though i do have alittle bit of advice.

1) crying is good, its hard for you physically and mentally to keep emotions bottled up, let them go, write them out, draw, sing , talk to someone. anything to let your emotions out, thats probably one reasion why its hard for you to sleep because so much is just going though your mind that you cant let it settle. when you sleep your mind is very active because its like filing all your thoughts and memories from the day, and when your thinking about something or something just wont leave your mind you cant go to sleep because your mind wont really be able to sort everything so its trying to get you to sort everything out before it gets to the fileing ahead. (if that makes sence, im no specialist in any of this but it does make sence, and i think i read it somewhere on the internet or something) also its much easier to talk with people online i find it much easier because you dont have to see the emotion on there face and they cant see it on yours, it makes it easier to talk to them. and they kinda have time to compose themselves and think through what they are going to say before they say it so its kinda like more of a honest thought through opinion then a abrupt on the spot opinion, on the spot ones are always ones which are full of pity. i hate pity and i know alot of people do, all we want is somsone to talk to and someone to understand and offer advice.

2)never ever think its your fault that your mum did that, she had her own reasions and im sure to her they where good reasions at the time. i know it must hurt not to have her there, but really you cant blame yourself for what she did. try not to be angry with her, but if you are and you want to do something maybe you should write her a letter explaining how you feel, i know your problable gonna feel pretty stupid writing a letter which wont ever get to its destination but just write it, pool your emtion into it and just talk as though you where talking to her. then just once your done seal it in a envelope and stash it away somewhere, burn it do anything really. its like pooling all your anger and guilt into the letter and sealing it away, it will make you feel better just to get it all of your chest.

3) i cant really help you with your wisdom teeth, but just remember that it might be shitty now but afterwards it will all be fine and dandy and it will just be a memory.

4)everyone in a relationship feels as though they might do something wrong and screw it up, but the thing is is that if they love you and if its meant to be then little mistakes wont matter and they will just make the relationship move forward.

5) i hope everything works out for you, everything happens for a reasion.